INDIAN JOKES

* Mannoo was walking on the road and paused to read the
graffiti on the wall.
It read "Padne waala gadha."(one who reads it is an ass.)
Mannoo thought for an hour, erased it and wrote back,"Likhne
waala gadha."(One who wrote it is an ass).

* Mrs. Mannoo was in the habit of having long conversation
on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day
she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked
her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation
on the phone."
"I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Mannoo.

* Mannoo was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted
area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence.
"They should nto put up such misleading notices,"said Mannoo ."
It said , FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

* A haryanavi peasant came to the office of The Hindustan Times to
place an advertisement announcing his father's death. "The rate is
Rs. 360 per single col. cm," the clerk told him.
"Main to lut jaoonga - I 'll be ruined," exclaimed the haryanavi.
"My father was 182 cms tall."

* Two Indians were in conversation on the beach :

Indian 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?

Indian 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?

Indian 1 : Nahe pata.

Indian 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai
beach kahete hai .

* Rajsi complained to his friend about his wife ' My wife never
agrees with anything I
say. And we have been married for six years .'

Mrs Rajsi intervened, ' Not six we have been married for seven
years ! '

* Mannoo, very proud of his humour used to say to his wife leaving
for the office : 'Good bye Char Bacchon ki Maa' . One day his wife
fed up of this answered : ' Bye Bye, Doo Bacchon Ke Baap'.

That ended the husband's witticisms.

* Teacher : If we breath oxygen in the daytime, what do we breath
at night?
Pupil :Nitrogen?

* Mrs Kartar had bought a beautiful sweater for her husband . She sent
it to her husband by parcel post along with a note. The note said : ' The
buttons of the sweater are removed since they where too heavy and added to
the postage . You will find them in the right hand pocket of the sweater .

* Avtar & Kartar used to stay in same building . Avtar on the Ground floor
& Kartar on the 25thfloor. One day when the lift was not working , Kartar
invited Avtar for a Dinner. Avtar trudged up to 25thfloor to find Kartar's
flat closed from outside and had a note which read : ' How did you enjoy
your dinner ? '

Not to be outdone , Avtar wrote under it , ' Sorry , I could not make it . '

* Mannoo showed his plam to a palmist . He examined the lines on
Mannoo hand & said,'A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very
careful.'
'Why should I have to be careful?' asked Mannoo. 'She should be
careful of her life. I drive a Redline bus!'

* Mannoo & Pannoo had strong reservations against the Mandal
Commission's recommendations. They found an ingenious way to get round
them. Mannoo's daughter, Manvi married Pannoo's son, Punto. They named
their grandson Mandal Jeet.

* Mannoo went to eat in ramshackle hotel. To his surprise the waiter who
came to serve him happened to be one of his classmate at school. Mannoo
called him and said 'Aren't you ashamed of working in a seedy joint like
this?'
'Not at all,' replied the classmate. 'I would be ashamed if I ate my meal
here. I only work in this place.'

* 'Take me to the 10th floor,' said Mannoo as he entered the lift of a
high rise bulding. When the lift reached its destination, the liftman
opened its gates and said, 'The 10th floor, beta.'
'Why did you call me beta?' demanded Mannoo. 'I am not your son.'
'I called you beta because I brought you up,' replied the liftman.

* Mannoo got his promotion and become an officer in Punjab Government.
To keep up with his status, he decided to speak only in English to all
his subordinates. One morning, his peon peeped through the door to see
if his boss was busy. Mannoonoticed him and shouted, 'Why are you
outstanding! Please income.'

* The collector asked Mannoo for his rail ticket. Mannoo searched his
pockets but could not find it. 'Never mind,' reassured the collector,
' I will take your word that you bought your ticket.'
'That is very kind of you,' replied Mannoo, 'but if I don't find it,
I want to know where to get off.'

* Mannoo : 'Look Pannoo, what type of glasses they have made.
The top is closed. How can you fill lassi in it ?'
Pannoo : 'Yes, that's funny. And even if you make a hole at the top,
how will
the lassi stay in the glass when the bottom is open?'

* Mannoo: ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Mannoo : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Mannoo : 'What problem?'

* Mannoo owned a large factory. He issued orders that only married men would be employed. When his friend Pannoo asked him the reason, Mannoo replied, 'Married men are more obedient.'