Bholas Jokes

Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji ( to doctor ) : 'Doctor, I have a problem.'
Doctor : 'What's your problem?'
Bholaji : 'I keep forgetting things.'
Doctor : 'Since when do you have this problem?'
Bholaji : 'What problem?'



10/1/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Herolal and Bhola landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Herolal somehow managed to get a bottom seat, but unfortunate Bhola got pushed to the top.
After a while when the rush is over, Herolal went upstairs to see friend Bhola.
He met Bhola in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death.
He says, "Are Bhola ! What the heck's go in' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there ?"
Scared Bhola replies. "Yeah, but you've got a driver".


Bholas Jokes

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Our Bholaji was appearing for his University final examination.
He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his shoes off and throws them out of the window. His shirt, pant, socks and watch follow suit. The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on. "I am only following the instructions yaar," he says, " it says here, 'Answer the following questions in brief'.".




10/1/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Herolal and Bhola are sitting in a bar sipping Black Label Johnny walker when Bhola noticed a gorgeous blonde sitting by herself in a corner. As he was getting up to talk to her.
Bartender said "Hey don't worry about her, She is lesbian! ".
Bhola "Lesbian or no lesbian, I get all of them" and he stylishly holding his whiskey in his left hand walked to her table. Then leaping forward in a very sexy voice he said "Where exactly in Lesbia, you from?"




9/30/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola was standing at the station with Herolal and son Prem.
Prem wanted to check his weight and he took a coin from his father and stood on the machine.
Unfortunately, he could not reach the slot meant for inserting the coin.
Then Bhola had a brilliant idea. He lifted Prem and helped him insert the coin.
All the three were wondering what made Prem weightless even on EARTH!!




9/30/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji and Herolal are trying to measure a telephone pole. They keep trying to climb it and keep sliding down. Along comes this really big, muscle bound man and says, "Hey, what are you guys doing?"
The two say, "We're trying to measure the height of this pole."
The man wraps his arms around the pole, pulls it out of the ground, lays it down and measures it. Then he picks it up, puts it back in the ground, says "40 feet" and walks away.
Then Bhola says to the other, "What a stupid idiot - we wanted the *height*, not the width."




9/25/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one. He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "71st and *again* barefeet!"




9/25/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola sees lot of guys running on the highway. Asks a bystander as to why are the guys doing what they are doing.
The bystander explains that a Marathon race is going on
Bhola : What do they get from that?
Bystander : The winner will get a prize
Bhola : Then why are the others running?!


9/25/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji is buying a TV.
"Do you have color TVs?"
"Sure."
"Give me a Green one, please."



9/20/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji goes to a hotel and eats heartily. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead.
The manager comes running and asks him, "aap kya kar rahe ho?"
To this the man replies, "tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai, 'Wash Basin'".




9/20/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "
They should not put up such misleading notices", said Bhola. "It said, FINE FOR PARKING HERE."



9/20/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola finished his English exam and came out. His friends asked him how he did his exam.
For that he replied "Exam was okay, but for the past tense of THINK, I thought, thought, thought ...
and at last I wrote THUNK!!!"


Bholas Jokes

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Having lost his donkey Bholaji, got down to his knees and started thanking God.
A passerby saw him and asked, "Your donkey is missing; what are you thanking God for ?"
Bholaji replied "I am thanking Him for seeing to it that I wasn't riding the donkey at that time, otherwise I would have been missing too."



9/10/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji is trying to commit suicide on the railway tracks and he takes along some wine and chicken with him. Somebody stops him and asks "kyon bhai, ye sab kyon leke baithe ho?"
Bholaji replies "Saali train late aati hai, kahin bhook se na marjaun"


9/5/2000
Bholas Jokes

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This Bholaji goes to the see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching he is cowering in his seat when his friend asks him "kyon, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai".
Bholaji replies "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai, pata hai ki cinema hai lekin voh to janwar hai, usko kya pata


9/5/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji and Herolal got fed up with the Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off. One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now" The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat"



9/1/2000
Bholas Jokes

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The doctor told Bholaji that if he ran eight kilometers a day for 300 days, he would loose 34 kilos. At the end of 300 days, Bholaji called the doctor to report he had lost the weight, but he had a problem."What's the problem?" asked the doctor. "I'm 2400 kms away from my home now."


8/30/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, "Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?"
"Yes, of course," said the doctor, "why not!"
"Oh! How nice it would be ," said Bhola with joy, "I have been illiterate for so long."


8/25/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola was driving down the highway to Disneyland when he saw a sign that said "DISNEYLAND LEFT". After thinking for a minute, he said to himself "oh well !" and turned around and drove home. On his way home the same Bhola drove past another sign that said "CLEAN RESTROOMS 8 MILES". By the time he drove eight miles, he had cleaned 43 restrooms.


8/20/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bhola and Herolal are in a railway station.
"Can I take this train to Patna?" asks the first.
"No," answers the RR man.
"Can I?" asks the second.



8/20/2000
Bholas Jokes

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Bholaji was brought to court on charges of Drunken Driving.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,"Order,order."
Bhola immediately responded, "Thank you , your honour, I'll have a scotch and soda."



8/15/2000
Chhangu Mangu Joke
Dr. Tirath Garg
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Once Chhangu returned home late from a booze party. He was little over. He put his one hand on wall and tried to put key in the holewith his other hand to open the lock but the key missed the hole. He tried it so many times but every time the key missed the hole. Mangu was observing so he came forward to help
Mangu- Can I help you and put the key in hole.
Chhangu- No I shall manage the key, You just hold the wall because it is shaking too much.


Grafitti

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Bhola was walking on the road and paused to read the graffiti on the wall.

It read "Padne waala gadha." (one who reads this is an ass)

Bhola sat on a nearby bench, and after much thought erased it and wrote "Likhne waala Ghadah". (One who wrote this is an ass)

3/10/2000
On a fishing spree

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Bhola and Herolal go fishing. They catch a lot of fish and return to shore.
Then Bhola asks: "I hope u remember the spot where u caught all those fish."
The other answers: "Yes,I made 'X'on the side of the boat to mark the spot."
"U idiot!"replies the first."how do u know u will get the same boat tommorrow."


Bhola with his new Maruti

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Bhola bought a brand new Maruti and decided to drive down from Patna, to Delhi to meet his friend. He reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, he decided to return, and called up his mother to expect him in the evening. But he didnt reach in the evening, and not the next day either. When he finally reached home on the third day, his disraugth mother ran and asked him " Arre Bete, kya hua ?"
Bhola got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said, "Saale, ye Marutti wale pagal hain, agge jaane waaste chaar gear banaate hain, aur pichche jaane waaste sirf ik?"